…that my husband reads this. I don’t mean the cute ones about Carter or the reflective ones about myself. I mean, the password protected ones–about him. Because boy the “I love you’s” have really started flowing lately. Or, it could be that the ol’ heart strings were REALLY pulled last week when he watched Big.gest Los.er last week while I was gone out to coffee with my friends. If you don’t watch the show, you probably don’t know about Abby. Abby lost her entire family. She wasn’t feeling well and they took her to the hospital one day to get checked out. She stayed at the hospital, they went home. On the way, they were hit by a car going over 100 mph and all 3 of them were killed–her husband, her 5 year-old daughter and her 9 month-old son. As she had a breakthrough on the show her last week there, Jeff absolutely lost it (or so he said, I wasn’t here). Later, at small group, he brought up that he couldn’t imagine losing me and Carter and then having to move on in life. You just have to know him to know that those comments don’t exactly flow from him as of lately. For me, I’m glad to know that we mean so much.
And, there was another surprising comment that same night. He admitted to having problems with porno.graphy in the past and into our married life. He said that our marriage was good, but that he couldn’t imagine how unbelievably great it might be if he’d never done those things to me. Holy cow. Talk about a breakthrough. There’s your breakthrough.
I will not re-go into the issues of late that Jeff and I have been having in our marriage. But, there have been a lot of people praying for us and I believe that prayer works.
Although in your mind, you know the right thing to do (or not to do in some cases), sometimes anger and frustration can be very powerful forces that take you in other directions in your marriage.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say that there was a message that was directed specially for me and Jeff and our current relationship woes. I subscribe to North Point church on iTunes and I get their messages each week on my iPod. Well, I had been a bit behind on listening to my podcasts. On Wednesday I had written down to pick my parents up at the airport. I sat for over an hour waiting for them to arrive only to find out that they actually arrived on Thursday. But, it did give me time to catch up on my podcasts.
There is a 4-part series from North Point (Andy Stanley) called Falling Staying in Love. Jeff and I had heard the first 3 messages in this series. But, it was the 4th one that was JUST FOR US. We listened to part of it on the way to small group and the rest on the way home. That night as we were going to bed Jeff suddenly brings up the message. He said that it “really got to him”. I knew that this was my moment to open up and tell him how his attitude and actions toward me were really affecting me. I told him everything that I couldn’t find a way to express before. I was a moment of change for us.
The next evening, I made sure that I told Jeff how I noticed the changes, how I liked them and how good they made me feel. I told him that I liked the “nice Jeff”. He laughed and said (and I’m not sure I’ll ever forget this), “Well, he’s not all that nice. He killed the old Jeff.”
So, even if you aren’t having any marital issues, this is an excellent series to listen to. I am particularly fond of the fourth on called: Multiple Choice Marriage. There’s no direct link to the message, but it’s easy to get to. Go here and scroll through the images (4 to the right) until you see the pink square that says Staying in Love. Then, click on it and the 4 messages will come up below. I hope it “gets” someone else like it got us.