Tag Archives: life

Spring Has Sprung

Now that Carter can follow directions and stick with something for a little longer, we’re trying our hands and arts and crafts.  Hands.  I love pictures of hands.

I also love his stuck out tongue in concentration.

Yep, we started potty training.  His first pair of underwear!

The weather seemed to warm up overnight and that means we’re OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Carter loves to be outside.  This picture really struck me.  He’s grown so much and there are times he seems big to me.  Here, I like it because he still looks so small compared to the world around him.

We’re blessed to live in a gorgeous part of the country.  These forsythia bushes grow between my house and my parent’s.  There’s an entire row of them that I see each morning from my bathroom window.  To me, they are the ultimate sign of spring’s arrival.

Carter’s into ALL the sports.  His Papa has helped him to put on all kinds of tennis gear before they play.

For a laugh–Carter is “reading” the sign that is asking everyone to stay out of the flower beds at the park.  He’s standing in a flower bed.  Funny.

This is my favorite.  These are Carter’s friends.  Seeing this represents some of the new friendships that have come into my life over the past year and a half.  These children are growing up together.

Today they all came to an Easter Egg Hunt sponsored by our church.  There are so many great things happening in my life.  So many little things that bring me joy!


Right Before My Eyes

my little boy is becoming a big boy.  Potty training started last Saturday and I’ll spare you the details.  But, I can happily report that more is going right than is going wrong.  We’re all learning through this process–us, our level of patience and Carter, how to “let the pees go”.

Here are some shots of the past month.

The intensity of his concentration on play amazes me. A baby who couldn’t focus for more than a thought, can now play for hours, making up incredible rules and characters.

And then there’s the football helmet.  If we never made him take it off, he would wear it non-stop–calling plays, running them, throwing the ball, tackling and getting tackled would be our constant activities.  As is, though, we take forced breaks from our quarterback to simply enjoy our little boy.

His newfound fascination with dinosaurs is a lot of fun to watch.  We’re checking out books and reading as much as we can about them.  Some of the dinosaur names Carter pronounces better than I do.  And, he’s glad to tell anyone about a number of their amazing characteristics.

…And then the snow came.  We had a decent snow event last winter, but he doesn’t really remember it.  I’m sure the 3 snows we experienced this year will stick with him.  That’s almost unheard of for the south.

Our snowman.  I think he had melted within 2 hours of our building him.  But, it was fun!

Packing the snow for the snowman’s head.

Clobbering Carter with snow.

We attended The Greatest Show on Earth.  Carter was amazed.  I think the expression on his face says it all.

It got really long and late, so at least there were snacks to keep his attention.

Friday’s Coming

First let me say that I know that things can always get worse.  I know, I know, I know.  So if you’re going to even THINK of saying that one of us could have some life-threatening disease then please hit your back button immediately.

In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t voice negativity and worry.  And, I shouldn’t say things to my husband that cause him to feel that he’s not being a good provider for our family.  This is putting me in a very quiet place.

When the house payment is due in 2 days and all appearances show that we’ll be about $1000 short of making a full payment, it’s pretty tough.  Jeff knows that it’s coming.  He’s quiet, too.  He had mentioned that we might go to his grandparents for a loan.  Last week his grandmother hit bottom and is being transitioned into some level of care facility.  The timing to go begging for money is not now.  So, we’re stuck.  Stuck here with not enough money and living on as little as we can.  There are no more places to look for money.

Try as hard as I might, the worry is not leaving me.  I really like my house.  I like that we built it together.  We picked everything out from each color of paint to the lights to the cabinets.  I DO NOT want to lose my house.

So what does that mean?  Especially when it can be seen as my fault.  I was the one with the steady, decent-paying job and good health insurance and I gave it up.  I love, love, love working for my church.  I can’t even fathom not doing what I’m doing now.  But, if we ended up saying goodbye to our home, will I have to deal with the knowledge and guilt that I could have done something about it forever?

I like to think that since this house sits on land that my grandfather bought for us–right beside my parents and right in front of my grandparents–that they would do something to help us if it came down to losing us and us losing this house.  But I can’t really say with any sort of certainty that they would actually be able to save us.  It’s a lot to ask of someone, even when they love you as much as my family loves me.

These days I’m not quite sure if I want to cry or scream.  I know that neither helps much.

I only want the best for everyone in my life, but it’s starting to feel like no matter which direction I go I’ll have to let someone down.

The only thing I know for sure right now is that Friday’s coming.  And it hurts.