Tag Archives: friendship

Getting Into “The Club”

In college, everyone is friends…at least, all your friends are your friends.  Then, we graduate, we get jobs, we get married, we have families.  My first good friend to have a baby was Jenna.  We taught together and she was the first person in a long time that I let myself get close to.  We talked on the phone as soon as we left work.  We did things on the weekend with other cool-to-be-around couples.  It was a little club.  Then, she got pregnant.  We told ourselves that nothing would change once she had a baby, but that just wasn’t the case.  You see, when you have a child you’re in a new club.  You’re in the Mommy Club.  I denied that it existed and I told myself that because I loved children and was a teacher, I could just be around and it would all work out fine and dandy.  But, no.  Slowly but surely, I dropped out of her life and she dropped out of mine.  I was hurt and I didn’t understand.

Now I understand.

When you have a child, it’s no longer about you.  There are no more uninterrupted phone conversations.  There are no more fun nights with other couples (sans children).  There are no more nail appointments and hours spent reading books or watching movies to discuss. As much as one might try, you can’t be ok and totally cool with all those things if you yourself do not have children.  I mean, seriously, trying to talk to someone with a child screaming in the background is tough and annoying.  Eating out with someone whose child is throwing food on the floor and pulling things out of their mouths half-chewed is not fun.  Talking about the condition of poop or snot is not interesting.  But, if you are a mother, you get it and you can endure it and you can even laugh about it when it’s not happening to you.  You’re in the club and you never have to apologize when you’re with other members.

As I sit here and steal away 10 minutes to dump out some random thoughts, I watch my son trying to write on the television with a ball point pen (thankfully it isn’t working out for him) and I’m screaming “On the PAPER!  On the PAPER!”.  In the past 20 minutes, I have changed a poppy diaper, played a plastic guitar, talked on the phone while building a tower of blocks and comforted a bumped head.  These are things of my days and it is such a comfort to know that there really is acceptance in the common ground of motherhood, because otherwise it would be a very tough and very lonely journey.

I’m not saying that I’m not friends with people who don’t have kids, because I am.  I just wonder what they’re thinking of my crazy life sometimes.

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So Interesting…

I really put the game (previous entry–below) on here thinking that I’d get little comments and see the different areas where you all live and the various ages of people who read this blog and the cool things that you do for a living.  But, I didn’t get that so much.  Since I posted that entry 24 people have read it and only 2 have left a comment about themselves.  That makes me wonder–are you people secretly stalking my life?  Obviously, I don’t care.  I created a public blog about my private thoughts, so it doesn’t bother me if you want to be a secretive reader.  I guess I was just really surprised because I didn’t realize that you’d want to remain anonymous to me and each other.  Although, that’s just part of the beauty of the internet.  You can surf around and drop in and out of people’s lives without them ever knowing about it.  In fact, I really love that about Facebook.  I can read about what friends have been up to since the last time I’ve seen them, look at pictures of their family and their adventures and tuck all that away for my own personal knowledge.  I now feel caught up and “in the know” and they never had to make an effort.

So to all of you shy ones in the blogosphere, know that I am not scared to know that you read about my life.  There is something so comforting knowing that I’m not the only one in this big world carrying my loads and experiencing my stories.  Through this blinking cursor and combination of computer code and colorful images, I’m crawling out of myself and finding that things that seem so complex when they are only thoughts, become manageable and fixable when they turn into words.  I get a lot out of writing about it, so I hope you get a little piece of something from reading it.


Let’s Play a Little Game!

Ok, so I saw this on another bloggy and participated in it and thought it was fun to read about all the people who replied.

What you do:

Leave a comment with your name (first only), your age, where you’re from and what you do.  Also, I’d like to add:  a link to your blog (if you have one) so we can swap links for each other.

Like this:

I’m Mandi.
I’m 31 years old.
I’m from Greer, SC.
I am a stay-at-home mom and children’s minister at The Edge Comm. Church.
My blogs: mindofmandi.wordpress.com and reachchildrenfirst.wordpress.com

Don’t cheat either.  If you read this, you gotta do it.  C’mon, 10 people who read this blog (and you random passers-by, too)–it only takes a minute to be social!  🙂