To Cry or Not to Cry

Crying has to be the hardest sound for a mother to hear.  It rips my heart out.

Around 3 weeks, Evan’s tummy troubles began.  I have always been under the impression that formula is formula.  I definitely do not feel that way any more.  I started with regular ol’ En.famil in the yellow cans.  It didn’t suit Evan’s tummy, so I switched to the gentle version.  It didn’t really help and poop problems set in.

From the outside looking in, I find it completely weird to talk about poop.  When it’s my child and his well-being, it is a chief concern and I’ll discuss it with anyone who will listen.  It’s also hilarious that baby poop descriptions are liked to food.  Right now we’re at the peanut butter stage.  We want to be at the mustard-colored applesauce stage.  Until we reach it, Evan is very uncomfortable.  To get there, the doctor has put him on formula that we are calling “The Golden Formula”.  We were buying 3 lbs. of formula for $20.  Now, he’s on very special “medicinal” formula for $25 for 1 lb.  To put it into perspective, that only lasts 3 days.  That’s $250/month for this liquid gold.  So far, the liquid gold isn’t doing crap for him and I’m worrying about how we are going to continue to purchase this stuff for 5 more months.  Despite our dire financial situation, I’ve never considered applying for government assistance.  I have reach the point of desperation. I have an appointment in two weeks for help.

He’s got hard poop, gas and spit ups.  Uncomfortable babies cry, so Evan is crying a lot and sleeping a little.  I definitely believe in teaching a baby to fall asleep on their own.  From my experience, it takes only a few minutes of fussing for a tired baby to fall asleep.  For an uncomfortable and tired baby, it doesn’t work quite the same.  So now I’m torn.  Do I continue to try and teach Evan to fall asleep or do I use other methods to get him to sleep quicker?

Pacifier in the mouth, baby swing, rocking to sleep, holding and bouncing, walking, crying it out.  Some things work some of the time, but it’s like a puzzle trying to figure out what works on what days.

At this point, I’ve tried it all.  I’ve read that it’s normal for babies to cry up to 30 minutes before falling asleep, but it’s just too hard to listen to him cry for that long.  I want to fix whatever is wrong.  I’m taking this one day at a time, waiting for the golden formula to work and his little system to get stronger and more resilient.  It’s so hard…



4 responses to “To Cry or Not to Cry

  • vernakale

    We are the NKF (Now.lin Ka.le Family) and it’s the Now.lin Ka.le Family Blog.

    I had about a million good reasons for not changing my last name when we got married and I don’t regret it. Betty (who has my husband’s name) already understands and doesn’t even question that Mommy and Daddy have a different name. The only thing I don’t like about having 2 names is that we can’t get little ” Now.lin Family ” things, like mailbox plates and stuff. So we are the NKF. 🙂

  • vernakale

    Hey…just wanted to check in and say hi. Hope things are going a bit better these days with Evan’s feedings. I miss reading your updates on FB.

    • Mandi

      Hi Verna!

      Yes, things are going so smoothly now. The combination of the formula switch and the Zantac gave us a new baby! I don’t often take the time to comment, but I’m enjoying following your family’s adventures on NKFB. What does that mean, by the way? Each time I read it I can’t help but think NKOB – New Kids on the Block. 🙂

  • Tarah

    Dayne had issues with formula too – we used the Simaliac Fussiness – it’s the orange tub. That helped a lot. He was also constipated. Our doctor told us to give him 2 oz of the baby apple juice a day until his poop was runny again then we could work on weening him off. It worked! He still has apple juice once a day but it’s half apple juice and half water now, he’ll still get solid poops if we don’t give him the apple juice.

    As far as the crying, Dayne wanted to suck on things so I caved and gave him the pacifier. I don’t know why I felt so guilty doing that – it’s what he wanted. Once he could figure out how to suck his thumb he didn’t want the pacifier, just his thumb. Now he’s a bit older he only sucks his thumb when he’s tired, hungry or freaked out. It soothes him.

    There were nights I would put Dayne in the swing and let it rock him to sleep. Once he’d been out for about ten minutes I’d turn it off and let the motion stop on it’s own. Then put him in bed. Most of the time it worked. You do what you have to do. There is no wrong or right way – it’s what’s right for you guys.

    You’ll figure it out! Don’t beat yourself up, just listen to your heart.

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