Pregnancy Celebrations You Can’t Share

Pregnancy is a strange time, but a wonderful time.  Each one is different thanks to those freaky, funky pregnancy hormones wreaking havoc on your body.  There are some things that everyone wants to hear from a prego.

We heard the heartbeat today.

It’s a ________!  (insert whatever you’re having so you can get stories from both sides about what your child will turn out like based on others experiences)

I felt the baby move today.

Yes, indeed, those are sweet.  But there are some days when you want someone to celebrate the not-so-fit-for-public milestones of pregnancy.  I tried #1 with my husband a few days ago.  He attempted to feign excitement, but I know that deep down inside he’s thinking “Why doesn’t she talk to someone else about that stuff??”

So here you have it.  My Top 5 list of things nobody wants to celebrate with a pregnant lady.

  1. I pooped 2 days in a row!
  2. Opening the pantry did not cause my overactive gag reflex to kick in.
  3. I have BOOBS (but don’t even think about touching them because they hurt like a sonofagun)!
  4. I slept for more than 2 consecutive hours without having to get up and pee.
  5. I made it through an entire day without crying, screaming or otherwise having an emotional freakout of any manner.
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