This morning I had to bite the bullet and call to make a dermatologist appointment. For those of you that don’t know me, I my skin is so pale that’s practically clear. I grew up in the age of no sunscreen. In fact, most people just slathered baby oil all over themselves to enhance the effects of the sun. That’s right, baby oil on the skin and lemon juice in the hair equalled a hot mama back in the early 80’s. So, while I wasn’t born with terrible skin, I did develop it over the years. I spent all day, every day outside when I was growing up. Boy, things have sure changed.
I’ve actually been “under the knife” twice already. When I got to the end of high school, I got the 3 worst moles removed before going to college. It was such a traumatic experience that I didn’t go back again until I got married. This experience was far worse. I had 5 moles removed, one of which was on the edge of my lip. Sticking a needle in that one made me scream. I remember leaving the office and crying and crying on my way home. Now, I hate ALL these stupid spots on my body. They’re embarrassing and ugly and I’m really just wanting to have them all gone. I don’t want to think that there’s anything that’s an entry point for bad crap to get into my body.
Even though I felt so strongly about doing this, the fear I felt when clicking around on the computer for all my choices was nearly paralyzing. Then, I had to walk over to get the phone and it was a real effort to put one. foot. in. front. of. the. other. I held the phone and hoped for something to come up on Facebook to distract me from actually making the call. No such luck. I get on the phone with the nice appointment-maker lady and I’m thinking that she’ll probably give me some date that’s a month or so away…you know, to give me time to get used to it and all. Oh no. She offered me one on next Tuesday. I actually said to her, “Next TUESDAY?!?!” In the end, I took the appointment. I wrote it on the calendar and tried to talk myself out of it and come up with a really convincing reason to call them back and cancel it. No suck luck. It stands.
So, that was hoop #1. I’ll be jumping through #2 next Tuesday morning when I actually have to get in a car and drive there.
Have you ever had to walk through fear? What fear hoops do you have to jump through?