Mandi says “I love you”

Love week continues…

This is my response from our chat on January 30. 1999 (sometime around midnight).  It amazes me to read and re-type this and it makes me a little sad.  Neither of us would say anything like this anymore.  My prayer every day is that walls break down and we find our way back to a place that feels like this.

Mandi:

I want to share a quote with you from a book I read recently:

I wish I could have you close your eyes for this, but given the nature of the conversation that’s not really possible.  So, with the same peace that comes when you close your eyes and listen to me talk, read these words:

“We all long to tingle with the sensation that this one person has been created for our pleasure and our life’s happiness…this person who is God’s truest and purest expression of his love for us through another human being.”

This in one statement is my standard of that special relationship.  When a person personifies God’s love without even trying…makes me better spiritually and in all parts of who I am, that’s when I’ll know.

I want to explain how I feel about you through a kind of different way…

I have always been fascinated with artwork…both creating it and admiring it.  Meeting and knowing you has been like looking at a painting.  I walk through a museum and there are tons of different paintings around me…some I kinda like, some catch my attention, some I pass by without a glance…some I spend too long looking at because there may be things I’ve missed.  But then there is always one that I find that stands out to me…that inspires me, that I’m passionate about.  I see it and glance at it from far away…know right off that it’s some that I like and appreciate.  But, then I have to get closer, and start looking at the details–how it was created, how the colors are used, the techniques.  I stand far away to take in the entire feel of it.  But then as I get closer I realize just how beautiful it is.  I stand amazed at it.  I look at the price and it’s nothing that I could ever afford…it could only be given to me as a gift maybe.  But I know, the more I look at it and the more I take it in, that I not only like it…but that it was something that I would like to have painted myself.

You were like that.  I first met you and know I liked you, but the more time I spent getting to know you the more I liked you and the more I know that you were everything I could ever ask for in another human being.  I could never ask for you to be mine.  I would never deserve someone as perfect and beautiful as you, but that’s just the perfect part of it.  That’s when you know someone is special–when you know you are truly not good enough and that the happiness that they could bring would be more than you deserve.  That’s why love is a gift.  You are truly the most wonderful person I have ever met and looking at those words typed seems so inadequate for who you are, but I’m limited to words because I can’t look at you to tell you how I feel.  Yes, I do love you.  I knew when I did and I knew when you did and it was the same time.  You can assume whatever you want.  🙂

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