January 25, 1999

Love week continues…

This is an excerpt from an email from Jeff.  We had known each other about 3 weeks.  I had just sent him an email telling him about my family, my life, my beliefs.  This reply was the first email I received from him:

Okay, okay, I confess…I might have peeked at your picture once.  Maybe it was more like a glance.  Alright–I stared at it…for a few minutes.  Like you say about me–the smile looks so familiar.  Familiar like a feeling.  Probably a feeling that consumes me from time to time.  Perhaps you know it, too.  It’s the feeling after you see a really touching movie, or hear a beautiful song, or wake up early just to see the sunrise, or sitting a park watching squirrels and birds play…that feeling of contentment.  Contentment and longing, all at the same time.  You know you’re happy, but you want to be happier, too.  You want someone to share laughs with, to share thoughts with, to share cries with.  You want someone to be as close to you as you feel to yourself.  You want that uncompromising, unconditional love shared only with your soul’s mate…your moral peer…your best friend.  Is friend the right word?  It seems cheap for what this all represents.  Maybe I should capitalize it.  But, then when you say it, it still sounds the same.  Is there another word describing one characterized by all of this?  Not buddy or pal, not chum, crony, comrade, colleague, ally, amigo, partner…I don’t know the word.  But, even the picture of your smile makes me feel that.  It makes me feel that inner glow and warmth usually kindled only by my true admiration for another.  

I can’t compare it to much else–it’s such a rare thing, reserved for rare occurrences.  Yet, the feeling I get speaking to you or seeing your face is that rare.  You make me feel good, pure.  And, knowing you even the little that I do, you seem so familiar I feel I could spend every day forever with you and never want anything new.

I’ll give you this chance to grab a tissue and say a prayer.  I”m praying right now that you’ll receive this the way it was meant–as a letter of affection and deep appreciation.  Please pray that you will, too.  And, next time we speak or chat, I hope I’ve made you feel the way you make me feel.  I’d like to return that favor.

With Love,

Jeff

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