I just needed to run into Hobby Lobby to grab a few things, so I strapped Carter into the cart and off we went. I got what I needed, and was ready to go–but I just couldn’t. Carter was holding my hand. I know that must seem so simple and not a big deal, but these shows of affection initiated by him are just starting to happen. So, we just walked up and down isles and in circles around the store. I wanted to take it in and not do anything to break that moment. It was something I’ll never forgot and I hope that throughout my life I’ll never forgot how important it is to appreciate those gifts that you don’t ask for and how important it is to take time to enjoy them.
Carter has been sleeping all night long for a while now…so long I can’t really remember what it was like to get up every night anymore. But, on occasion, he wakes up. When he does, I know that there’s something wrong. I always wait a few minutes before going in because I want to give him a chance to go back to sleep (which he often does). This morning I heard him cry at 5 AM and I just groaned, thinking “Oh no, not now. I was sleeping so good. Please go back to sleep. Please, please, please…” He didn’t go back to sleep, so I got up and made my way to his room in the dark, trying not to open my eyes too much, trying not to get too far away from sleep. Lately, it’s been his teeth that bother him, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I try with him. But this time he stops crying almost as soon as I pick him up. This really never happens. He can’t tell me what’s wrong, so I imagine that it must’ve been a bad dream. So I just hold him. Carter isn’t a very cuddly baby and he doesn’t tolerate my hugs and squeezes for long, but at 5 AM on June 5 he layed his head on my shoulder. He put one hand around my arm and the other on my other shoulder and he just layed there. I was in such awe of this moment I could hardly breathe. Inside, I felt like a happy cry. So we rocked and I rubbed his back and I whispered to him until he fell asleep on my shoulder (which he also never does). This was so precious to me. I must’ve sat there for about 30 minutes. By this point, I was fully awake, but I was glad–glad he needed me and glad that I got up at 5 AM.