Spring Has Sprung

Now that Carter can follow directions and stick with something for a little longer, we’re trying our hands and arts and crafts.  Hands.  I love pictures of hands.

I also love his stuck out tongue in concentration.

Yep, we started potty training.  His first pair of underwear!

The weather seemed to warm up overnight and that means we’re OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Carter loves to be outside.  This picture really struck me.  He’s grown so much and there are times he seems big to me.  Here, I like it because he still looks so small compared to the world around him.

We’re blessed to live in a gorgeous part of the country.  These forsythia bushes grow between my house and my parent’s.  There’s an entire row of them that I see each morning from my bathroom window.  To me, they are the ultimate sign of spring’s arrival.

Carter’s into ALL the sports.  His Papa has helped him to put on all kinds of tennis gear before they play.

For a laugh–Carter is “reading” the sign that is asking everyone to stay out of the flower beds at the park.  He’s standing in a flower bed.  Funny.

This is my favorite.  These are Carter’s friends.  Seeing this represents some of the new friendships that have come into my life over the past year and a half.  These children are growing up together.

Today they all came to an Easter Egg Hunt sponsored by our church.  There are so many great things happening in my life.  So many little things that bring me joy!

Friday’s Coming

First let me say that I know that things can always get worse.  I know, I know, I know.  So if you’re going to even THINK of saying that one of us could have some life-threatening disease then please hit your back button immediately.

In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t voice negativity and worry.  And, I shouldn’t say things to my husband that cause him to feel that he’s not being a good provider for our family.  This is putting me in a very quiet place.

When the house payment is due in 2 days and all appearances show that we’ll be about $1000 short of making a full payment, it’s pretty tough.  Jeff knows that it’s coming.  He’s quiet, too.  He had mentioned that we might go to his grandparents for a loan.  Last week his grandmother hit bottom and is being transitioned into some level of care facility.  The timing to go begging for money is not now.  So, we’re stuck.  Stuck here with not enough money and living on as little as we can.  There are no more places to look for money.

Try as hard as I might, the worry is not leaving me.  I really like my house.  I like that we built it together.  We picked everything out from each color of paint to the lights to the cabinets.  I DO NOT want to lose my house.

So what does that mean?  Especially when it can be seen as my fault.  I was the one with the steady, decent-paying job and good health insurance and I gave it up.  I love, love, love working for my church.  I can’t even fathom not doing what I’m doing now.  But, if we ended up saying goodbye to our home, will I have to deal with the knowledge and guilt that I could have done something about it forever?

I like to think that since this house sits on land that my grandfather bought for us–right beside my parents and right in front of my grandparents–that they would do something to help us if it came down to losing us and us losing this house.  But I can’t really say with any sort of certainty that they would actually be able to save us.  It’s a lot to ask of someone, even when they love you as much as my family loves me.

These days I’m not quite sure if I want to cry or scream.  I know that neither helps much.

I only want the best for everyone in my life, but it’s starting to feel like no matter which direction I go I’ll have to let someone down.

The only thing I know for sure right now is that Friday’s coming.  And it hurts.

2 Years With Carter

My sweet boy turned 2 the last week of August.  This is a little tribute to his life in pictures: one picture from each month of his life.

Carter’s first month was spent perfecting his cuteness.  This picture was taken at 6 days old.

We were blessed with smiles shortly after he turns one month.  Oh, the lengths we went to for smiles from Carter!

One of the many funny expressions of Carter.  It was tough to catch them, but this one I GOT when he was 2 months old.

At three months, we celebrated our first Christmas together.  We turned Carter into our little candy cane.

Carter has always been a great sleeper for us–he gets that honestly.  At 4 months we were blessed with his beginning to sleep ALL night.

We were heavy into baby food at 5 months and teeth started to emerge.  He loved having something in his hands to knaw on.

At 6 months, Carter was still our little cuddle bug. I miss those days!

Carter learned to roll at 7 months.  He loved it so much, he stuck with it for over 4 months!

We took Carter to the park at 8 months and this began his love of the outdoors, swings and slides.

Carter discovers watermelon at 9 months and ate an incredible amount of it that summer.

At 10 months, Carter pulls himself up.  He’s pretty proud of himself and finds he can get his hands on LOTS more fun things around the house.

At 11 months, this is the most out of control we let Carter’s hair get.  We broke everyone’s hearts by cutting it shortly after his first birthday.

After he turned 1, we got into all the previously forbidden foods and he loved them!

I just had to share one shot of his birthday party.  He knew JUST what to do with his cake.

In addition to a haircut at 13 months, Carter also discovers pumpkins and begins to take steps.  He wanted to take them all home and had to pick up each one to try.

I love this picture of Carter on Election Day.  He’s 14 months old and still walks with his arms swinging.

15 months old brings Christmas, our Christmas tree and lots of words.

Carter is beginning to like being around other children and he attends his first birthday party at 16 months.

This is the age of exploration, indeed.  17 months brought a newfound curiosity for getting into and pulling out everything.  This little scene appeared while I went to the bathroom.

Carter first SNOW at 18 months.  He’s smiling here, but it really freaked him out.

At 19 months we went strawberry picking.  I think he ate more than he put into the basket.

The word of the month when Carter was 20 months was IMITATION.  He began wanting to do (and say) everything we did.

Here’s another great example of that at 21 months.  ”Play dolf”, he says.

Carter loves hats!  He puts them on and insists on wearing them out.  This winter hat made its appearance at 22 months old in the heat of summer.

This is a picture of my little helper.  Even at 23 months old, he’s willing to help with whatever he can..in fact he sometimes insists: “Mommy, I do it.” or “I caaaaaaane help!”

At 2, he “gets” birthdays.  He was excited about cake, blowing out candles and presents.

I really sit here amazed as I’ve taken this little trip myself through all his changes and all the things he’s learned and experienced in his life so far.  It’s all been so much fun for me to watch and help with.  I’m looking forward to all the years to come!  They are all my favorite.  :)